


The Much Needed Talk

by Geek_Haven



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Castiel thinks Dean is dead, Castiel thinks Sam is dead, Episode: s11e23 Alpha and Omega, Episode: s12e12 Stuck In The Middle (With You), One Shot, The much needed talk between Castiel and God, mix up, not canon, talks about death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-02
Updated: 2017-04-02
Packaged: 2018-10-14 01:38:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10526196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Geek_Haven/pseuds/Geek_Haven
Summary: Writing one shots for my #E4K2017, the prompt I was given is as follows:"hi can you please write a little something about chuck and cas having the conversation, in which he'll tell him he did his best, and he doesn't just tries but succeeds, that he heard all his prayers, all his desperation, but making it all on his own is what makes him so special, so strong, the hero the world needs (something like that idk) without him the entire world would have ended the world needs him, not just as someone who 'helps" or "saves the winchesters and works for them" but the world needs him, for him "you are a hero castiel"





	

"Freedom is a length of rope, and you want us to hang ourselves with it.   
I’ve had words thrown at me like: broken, expendable and weak. Sure, I help, sometimes. But I’m not a hero.   
I thought I was doing the right thing. I see nothing but pain here. But now, you don’t have to worry anymore. At least not with me. It’s my life, my choice. I’ve made peace with my fate.   
I’ve been told I’ve failed more times than I have succeeded… Hell, I don’t even die right. You keep on bringing me back and I still don’t understand why? What good am I doing?  
But this time, this time it’ll be right. I failed at being an Angel, and I lost everything, for nothing. I must make things right… Someone should.   
Because I’ve been told that there is a right, and a wrong. Marvellous free will.   
But who am I kidding with this righteous act though? I don’t know what is right and what is wrong anymore.  All I know is how I feel. As an Angel, I shouldn’t know what that is. Feelings? That hole in my chest that just gets bigger and bigger until it wipes me away.   
Well, don’t worry. I didn’t want to be saved. I couldn’t even do the one thing Dean asked… Keep Sam safe. He’s missing.  
I believe this is what you would call a… tragedy, from the human perspective. I just wanted to make amends before I die.”

That was what Castiel prayed before he went out on a hunt which he was sure would be the end, and it was. He had been stabbed with the Lance of Michael. It wasn’t looking good, he was sure he was going to die. He counted on it. He wasn’t sure if he wished he was a Demon so he could get this death over with, but no, being an Angel meant he’d have a slow, painful death. He should have seen it coming really. He laid there, in the barn, alone. He believed Dean to be dead, Sam missing, he would go out to find him but he didn’t know where to start. He didn’t make a great hunter, or agent. He didn’t have a purpose anymore.  

So here he was, alone and dying. He was ready for it. He had made himself ready for it. He wasn’t afraid of dying. After all, he was a soldier, he was built for war and made for death. That’s what he thought anyway. It seemed God had other plans for this mighty Angel.

“Castiel…” Came a voice, the blue-eyed man was sure he was hallucinating. Why would his father care about him? He had never answered his prayers before.

“You’re so much more than just a piece on a chess board, battling for Heavens wars” he heard. Castiel looked around, unsure where it was coming from until his blue fading eyes fell onto his father. The father of all living things.

“Father?” Castiel breathed.

He watched him walk over to him and his breath hitched, a gargling sound coming from his throat as blood started to rise and he coughed it up. He watched as Chuck moved closer to him and within a feather touch and a flash of light, the Lance of Michael was broken and the curse that ran through Castiels veins vanished.

“You’re just like them, you know… You don’t believe how needed and wanted you are in this universe…”

Castiel frowned slightly, tilting his head “They’re dead… “

“They aren’t dead… Dean, he saved the world. Sam, he’s not dead either, you’ll find him. With Deans help. They aren’t dead, Castiel. But without you, Sam and Dean would have died a long time ago… And if they had died, this world would be much darker than it is… You are a part of the reason they have been saving the world, you have as much part of saving this world than they do”

Castiel listened to the words and it was hard for him to believe, he could only see the mistakes he had made. The times he had betrayed his friends, his family.

“You have succeeded more times than you have failed… You have kept the Winchesters safe. Even when they have pushed you away, you have been there. The world needs you, just like the Winchesters need you. You are a hero, Castiel. I’ve always been there for you, when you really needed me, bought you back to life… I know you feel like I haven’t been there for you, but making it on your own is what makes you so special, so strong, what the world, what the Winchesters need. You have not failed at being an Angel.” Chuck told him, Castiel could see the corners of his mouth twitch into a smile as he stood up. The trench-coated Angel followed suit, dusting himself off, he was about to reply as he lifted his head, but he was met with an empty barn.


End file.
